Feminism and eroding the patriarchy; An opinion.


Those who enjoy the privileges of the status quo casually ask others who don’t have the same privileges to keep calm“.. Paraphrasing my own quote for the sake of brevity is no indication of egoism. Really…Maybe.  Today’s agenda; I want to write about Feminism contextually outside the pedestrian 140. One can easily misunderstand another person’s POV on that forum. Debating or disagreeing for the sake of doing so is just lame and tired. So for once, I am truly hoping for a captive audience because it is important to the conversation about equality in our society, especially one as culturally and traditionally entrenched in the Patriarchy as ours in Ghana is. I believe in the fundamental tenets of feminism. In fact, I advocate it and short of having female organs, I am as truecore a feminist as there is. That said, I am happy to be a man, not because of any implied, inferred or defaulted privilege that comes with the part but the fact that I’m content with how the universe chose to present me into existence.

Twitter is certainly not monotonous or boring for a lack of opinions. They hang everywhere like a passive aggressive girlfriend’s weave strands in her boyfriend’s apartment. Or like a controlling and insecure boyfriend constantly policing his girlfriends whereabouts or actions. We all witness it, we disagree on it, we write each other off for it and violently jump into each other’s @s for it. Some have even become infamous for the passion they have for their beliefs. The vitriol towards certain people is actually alarming to me. I don’t think an opinion should ever get one to the point of being hated and a target for rampant and unwarranted vilification. Adults disagree– should in fact. The discourse and the dialogue is healthy to change some of our indelible chauvinistic ideas and behaviors. However, it is discouraging that we can be so gung-ho about our ideas that, we fail to connect with people on a level for them to appreciate a POV we are passionate about. The point is, no matter how passionate you are about your beliefs, no matter how right you feel and believe your ideas and convictions to be, no matter how well educated you are– you need to connect with people in order for it to change culture. You can be as smart and intelligent as you think but your passions and views won’t be worth a moment of dumsor if you cannot translate it into moving the conversation forward and changing attitudes and perceptions. People need to understand your perspective without feeling like they’re in a war zone in order for it to matter.

Feminism is not an affront to manhood. It is not a virus that is here to destroy our way of life. It is simply the voice of many women, tired of the continuing double standards that disenfranchise them from being equal stakeholders in our society. It is perfectly logical what feminism is fighting for. It deserves to be acknowledged and accepted by default because, freedom of choice — to be whatever one wants to be — shouldn’t be tied to gender in the social, political and economic context. There are women who still have to fight for their right to their own bodies. That is quite crazy to me and I blame Religion and tradition for that. There are women who have to fight to keep their clitorises, fight to not  have to be guilty for their rape, fight for their right to any career considered “non-nurturing”, fight for their right to have an opinion and speak up, fight for many rights that come to men by default. The debate needs to shift. Why we are even so adamant about keeping any woman in any box she does not want for herself is astonishing to me. How is this still a thing? Seriously, get rid of that smug approach to life. The one that says; only women deserving of your respect are your mothers and sisters. It is the most pretentious bullshit in the discussion of gender equality. Respect isn’t a biological attribute. Respecting your fellow humans is really a requirement in my opinion, regardless of how vehemently you disagree with a person’s choices, you have to respect it. I feel like a broken record by reiterating how important respect is in the equality-fight glossary. Just respect people.


Now to the real reason why I want equality. There is always a selfish reason or motive – LMAO. I have never liked the way sex culture is posited in our society, much like how I’ve detested the culture of man of the house getting the best portion of the cooked meal. I want to tear down all those walls and barriers that make sex a bargaining tool for most women, that defines their dignity or worth. That keeps it as a way of guilting you for “wasting” their time if a relationship doesn’t pan out. I want them to be responsible for their decisions and not blame men for deceiving them into sexual relationships etc. I want an even playing field, where love is a choice not an obligation, where loyalty and faithfulness are personal decisions not a patriarchal mandate for determining value and worth. Can we fast forward to 2050 and reincarnate me as a young 17 year old stud? Can I blow these backs out freely with zero conscience because these backs wanna be blown out with zero obligation and or responsibility? Can I then evolve into the person I am now but just wealthier? Okay, wishful thoughts.

The fight of feminists is warranted. I know a lot of us men are often reluctant to acknowledge the struggle women face because we have actively been screwed over by three women or more, through manipulative games, lies and the like but their social, economic and political equality should not be a function of their interpersonal relationships with men. So holla at a feminist, understand the whys of her anger with a patriarchal society and then make the effort to view the world through their lenses. Feminists, the kind I know are some freaks too by the way so if you make that physical connection — praise Jesus, Muhammad, Budha and the belief in the non-belief of a God for such an opportunity and savor it. Take it from me.

The feminists outtchere who juuust wanna argue for the sake of it… Save it and suck it. I think your cause, whichever it is, ranging from benevolent sexism to rape culture and genital mutilation, to equal pay and holding on to your last name or being the one to propose marriage– understand that people still have traditional views until most become educated on the prejudicial nature of how our society truly views femininity. Womanhood is equal to manhood. There are trade offs and variations between genders but more people will learn if the approach is not constantly combative.  So take your time to dialogue and educate, instead of frantically hurling insults to score points from people who already share your beliefs or the nonchalants… Peace, love and hair grease.


3 thoughts on “Feminism and eroding the patriarchy; An opinion.

  1. LMFAO. I don’t even know what to do.

    There are good points about emotional intelligence and how being emotionally intelligent is perhaps more important than intellectual intelligence (that sounds weird). But yes being academically trained is nice, but knowing how to relate to humans is better and more effective in a lot of ways. In one on one discussions especially. So yea relating to people is great, and you can’t do that if you yell at them or call them names.

    I am cringing at the (honest) discussion of desiring feminism for more sex and better social conditions for you personally, but perhaps I need to get over it and understand that altruism is often a facade.

    There are rarely feminists who argue just to argue, and anger and frustration come forth righteously. Like your beginning quote implies telling oppressed people to keep calm comes sitting in a subject position where sexism does not crush you. it may inconvenience you,it may frustrate you, but the anger directed at those who are violently ignorant (have ignorant beliefs that perpetuate the domination of others through dehumanizing constructs and encourage demeaning behavior) is justified.

    • My statement about having more liberated sex was more tongue-in-cheek than an honest desire for guilt-free polygamy. I actually prefer dating just one woman at a time.. I was more referencing the burden that comes along with certain women feeling like sex is a one way street where they are the “gifter” and the man the “giftee”…. An even playing field teaches ppl about autonomy and a person’s right to their body in that process I believe..

      Sexism is such a dated concept in my opinion that I genuinely struggle with accepting that there is an army of people who still adhere to it, more so in Ghanaian culture than not.. Sad, really..

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