Short and Not So Sweet


The real reasons men don’t want their wives “out there”.

  1. Insecurity
  2. Trust
  3. Competition
  4. Peace
  5. Control

Some men know what they’re capable of and what they’ve done, what they’re doing in secret and how easy it is to cheat. They fear if their wives are social and outgoing, she’s susceptible to cheating. The insecurity is a reflection of self. Some may also be insecure because they have truly married up. It doesn’t make women innocent or incapable of cheating or prevent it but these are men’s reasons.  It really is that simple. Don’t overthink it. Argue on Twitter or @ me.

A man can be very sensitive to being exposed to the world. Matters of the home, he doesn’t want Nicquey, Malota and Charles knowing his business, his plans, his deals etc. They don’t want their intimate matters; financial, long term plans, health issues or whatever you can think of that can file under “private” out there. They worry that an “out there” woman may slip and tell others, therefore exposing holes in their armor. That’s probably the most important aspect of a relationship–> Trustworthiness, and for what it’s worth most men, are usually trying to preserve the trust.

I don’t wanna hear about the vacation Kasen planned for his wife. I don’t wanna hear about the new kitchen Brian just installed for his wife on a random Wednesday afternoon. I don’t want you questioning my manhood because you heard how Bay’s kids are living. Or that Alvin buys a new car for wifey every 2-years, fuuck thaat! Stay in this house and enjoy our mediocrity. Caroline is now telling your wife how Sheek has been eating the booty like groceries lately. Nah b, I don’t wanna compete with these men.

Old folks used to say in some variation that a peaceful home is a wife’s mandate. For what it’s worth, there is some truth to this based on how society is set up. The women usually sitting around being  housewives and making their boring days go by faster need to find something occupying. It’s only so long before they’re bored with being madam and ordering maids and houseboys to do their bidding. If you don’t want drama, you stay out of peoples business. This isn’t so bad a philosophy except we are not admitting that some of the most terrible gossips are men themselves. Double standard like a dog.

To be in control. That need is the most masculine of masculinity or so it’s been taught. The “putting of the foot down” – Alpha Gbemi.. No one enjoys putting their foot down more than the stereotypical African man. You’d think investments crawled out of the ground as a result as much as they love this pounding of their feet. A dictatorship– ensures a “my way or the highway” life and the economics usually permit this stupid need to control. You want that much control, get a pet. Preferably one that wears a collar you can yank on.


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