Body Count

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Disclaimer: I have evolved over the years into quite the liberal on the subject of promiscuity. My views on sex have come along for this journey of maturity even though to my credit, my thoughts have always been on the outlier of our cultural tenets. To simplify it, I was never the guy interested in bedding the virgin so some of my thinking may be biased in that sense. That is to say, most guys, especially Ghanaians, will not share these same liberal attitudes so do not take my disposition on the subject as a pathway to getting that ever coveted wedding ring that you’re under pressure to receive. Read with caution.

Before we get into it, let me just say that the concept of Body Count has always been a sexist idea, yet with tangible reason.

 

Sex in our culture is generally treated as a no-go zone until you are married even though most of us live to the contrary, including the elders that preach said chastity, be it in the name of Religion or Tradition. It is considered as a sacred act fit only for marriage and typically as a woman’s duty to her husband and consequently a form of reward to the man. This premise influences the concept of body count to a significant degree. It is a direct indication of a woman’s value based on the patriarchal order of our society. We will explore the whys in the next paragraph before I get into my own personal views on why it shouldn’t matter if all things are truly equal.

 

Ghanaian women, in general are raised to believe that their existence is only validated if they become a Mrs. You are raised to cater to a man’s needs, cook and clean for him, how to serve him and how to nurture his ego and be the manager of his home and the children born to the marriage. These are the determinants of a woman’s  value. These ideas are based in the traditional set up of man being the bread winner, head of the household — what he says goes, The Oga. Women are trained to manipulate this situation as best as they can, mostly by using their sexuality to manage this duty. It seldom works to their benefit because a lot of the men manage to find ways to get their sexual desires satisfied outside their marriage and it is an unwritten yet accepted rule that men will do what they gotta do and women are also trained to prepare for that and accept it. Women are not expected to resist or rebel but rather preserve their marriages regardless of how unsatisfied they may be in the marriage. Stepping outside of your marriage for sexual reasons is taboo for women. The underlying doctrine being, you shame your husband and bruise his ego. You take away his respect. He becomes a Kwaadonto.

 

This is the why: Men are raised to work hard, to become financially successful in order to be able to support a woman and kids. That is his most important defined role in addition to being the protector. All his hard work is to fulfill this purpose. The kind of woman he can marry is a direct correlation to his financial worth. This is what forms his view of women and their value to him. In addition to all her domestic qualities, she should be pure or in simpler terms, quite new if not absolutely new.  Of course, there are other sensible reasons why a non-promiscuous woman is projected as a smart choice for marriage, including having the peace of mind to work and earn a living without worrying about his wife doing full splits for random men while he’s away working etc etc. However, the most important bit of the equation is, after you’ve worked hard to become successful, your investment in a wife should be perceived as a valuable investment. A woman who has slept with the town army and the neighboring city soldiers is then not exactly viewed as valuable because she is “easy”. The best explanation would be, why invest in a used car with the same amount of money that will buy you a brand new one? Sounds logical, right? Your wife — your possession’s value is based in large part to this idea. This is the traditional setting. So if you’re a woman who wants to be taken care of by a man in all these ways, financially etc then you can understand how this is a fair assessment for men who are raised with the equivalent beliefs you have.

 

Here is the problem: We as a people have changed. Women are a lot of times the bread-winners or care-takers of their households. They are professionals, working sometimes more than their husbands. Educated, with their own dreams, goals and ambitions. They aspire to be more than just incubators and househelps. Their sexual appetites are not rooted in the premise of dutiful wife. They wanna try the wild positions and enjoy sex like their bodies dictate. They are looking for that satisfaction too. They are just like men because they are just as human. The men have mostly decided to take their leeway of being allowed to be promiscuous more importantly than their homely duties. Sometimes abandoning their families to start new ones and ignoring any of the conditions that came along with being husband and head of household. Our society frowns on women with failed marriages and devalues them on the fact that they may be unmarried mothers or unwed at certain ages so the trade-off of re-marrying or living single is less liberating and worthwhile for them.

 

With this history, the younger generation is much more reluctant to be governed by these traditional expectations. If we are being brutally honest, girls are constantly getting sexual advances in their teenage years, from their boy peers, older men with money and their own sexual desires. It is a bit silly to expect that level of chastity from them. Men and boys are wanting their women to be a combination of the traditional woman they’ve been raised to deem valuable and an Amber Rose or your pick of the litter of women who own their sexuality. So, we want to marry a pure woman who cooks, cleans, is great with the kids, has a well paying job, holds awesome conversations and fucks like a prostitute. We want them to give up themselves for men and still uphold our obscured perception of what gives them value. This can not be, it is simply unrealistic and impossible.

 

So, here is what I think: Body count is a personal choice. You should never allow anyone to determine your value based on the number of sexual partners you’ve indulged. The difficulty comes with being the woman who wants to be taken care of in the traditional sense described above. You have to be aware of the rules of those traditional expectations and live by them. Or, you can accept what you are and decide to be happy with yourself not being valued based on whether you have a wedding ring or not. I believe women are just as sexually active as men if not more and that is partly due to how many sex proposals they receive on a daily basis from all kinds of people including other women. It is illogical to expect them to turn down all these opportunities just because of some old traditional values that they’ve witnessed screw their mothers and aunties and friends into misery-ridden lives. They are getting it in, believe me on this.

 

If you have to ask a girl for her body count, you are approaching this thing wrongly. How can you ever be sure she is telling you the truth? It is quite silly. I know you’ve been told to multiply by three whatever number she gives you but believe me, if you truly love someone and you are happy with them, trust them and believe those feelings are reciprocal, it would or should be the least of your concerns. If your value as a man should not be determined by your past actions including all the sex you’ve paid for at Circle then you should afford women the same respect and pass you give yourself. You cannot have it both ways. If you are a traditional man who fits the mold of the above definitions then there are plenty women who will fit that criteria, find them and stop asking other women who do not ascribe to this tradition to conform. You will live a lie and get your puny heart ripped apart. If you are a woman who wants her sexuality to be her own, stop looking for traditional relationships that base your worth on your body count. The two different ideas will never merge because their basic expectations  are inherently opposite.

 

You cannot go about, having sex with women, enjoying it, then disrespect them for that very reason. All the past girlfriends you left in the wake of your exploits may have had expectations that it was going to last forever and now that you’ve moved on to the next vagina, why reduce their value to the fact that they had sex with you and therefore are undeserving of respect and dignity? Some guy has to marry her after you, no? If Ghanaian women would stop defining their worth and value on the idea of being marriage-worthy or being proposed to as the highlight of their lives, maybe they would care less about body count and approach their sexuality from a more personal decision basis and enjoy it as nature has made for it to be enjoyed. You can have multiple partners and be dignified about it in the level of responsibility you assign to your promiscuity.

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Here is where I land, in a fair view, body count should not determine a person’s worth. People deserve respect because they are human and that should be the end of it. It is not incumbent on us to be biased about whether or not a person deserves happiness and love based on how many people they’ve slept with. Unless, your expectations are in conflict with your actions, how you’ve lived and how you are living — your true desires should be what you live for. Unless you are just a ho.. male or female.. LOL

Ebola Brain…

I’m abrasive on this platform. Very opinionated in nature, almost dismissive and borderline unfriendly. I am yet to find someone who is willing to refute the points I’m trying to make nonetheless. Or maybe no one really gives two fucks about my opinion – I have considered that too. LOL

I speak on these issues with only one intention. To be an agent of change for the way a lot of us seem to think. The sense of entitlement and victimhood with which we address our Ghanaian issues.. African issues..

Either I’m an extremist, not compassionate or clueless. I strongly suspect otherwise but we can disagree on that. Mad men know what they see that drives them into the cold naked, right? LOL

So now that I have given you this long prequel to my pending rant, I hope you take your time to read through my points.

1. Africans are generally not a charitable people. I would dare call them downright void of compassion for the suffering masses.

2. We’ve all heard of this secret serum that seems to have cured two “white Americans” of the deadly ebola. The first reaction from most of us is why didn’t they give it to the Africans also and attributed it to some degree of racism.

3. Why aren’t we angry that our leaders and so-called wealthy people on the
continent have not stepped up and offered the pharmaceutical company with this secret serum a dime to accelerate the process. Instead, we want to sit back and whine about why and how only two Americans got it.

4. If the secret drug, forget that it is not a tried and tested drug that is ready to be administered to the general population, was given to two Africans and they died, the same people crying why would be accusing the west of using “the poor Africans” as guinea pigs for their untested and unapproved drug. We’d be hot on the tail of the “white devil” that seeks to destroy the black man.

5. Have you asked why in ALL of Africa, not ONE pharmaceutical company, is in the hunt — that we know of — for a cure to Ebola, a disease that seems to be mostly plaguing Africans?

6. What does the West or America or White people owe Africans? If you answer this question, with valid and provable points and facts, you can get my hard earned $100. Not much but beats the unsaved Cedi that is still waiting for our prayers to reach heaven so it stabilizes.

7. Until Africans, take responsibility for the gross mismanagement of their affairs and start competing in every area of modernity instead of looking for handouts and mercy givings, more of our people will die. They will perish endlessly and no number of prayer fasts or demon casting or blaming colonization will set things right.

8, If you are still here and reading, please hear me when I say this to you. The worst part of slavery and colonization has been psychological. The fact that a lot of our people believe that “whites and the rest of the human race” are plotting for our downfall. The fact that we think about our complexion more than we think about progress and how to solve our problems is in itself our downfall. Our predecessors set us up for failure because they made our struggle sentimental and deep rooted in an idea that we are viewed as less than because of our race. Wash that crap from your mind and teach your kids to not see color…. Even in the face of racism, they should know that their humanity is not a matter of opinion, internal or external for that matter.

9. Are you still here? Ok then. Hold your leaders accountable. That they can fly $3million on a plane to appease footballers but have yet to offer a Pesewa for the pursuit of a cure for Ebola is a really good indicator of where our priorities are. They are happily handing out hand sanitizers at the Kotoka International Airport while lying on radio that they have measures in place to prevent it from reaching Ghana..

10. Change your sense of entitlement. Africa is its own worst enemy. Stands in the ways of it’s own progress and fails to control its own destiny. The worth of every slave stolen from the continent between 1600-1800 has been exponentially paid for with all the donations and philanthropic acts dolled on the continent over the years.. If you want to know how, I have done the unsentimental math and I can prove it to you to get my $100 doubled.. Try me. Peace to all who hear and to those who keep silent and ignore me, good on you as well.
The bottom line is, I care too much for my own gatdamn good! Peace.

 

PS: Tell your people to stop eating those gatdamn Bats for survival’s sake… Sheeesh!!

Nigger = Cracker Pt.1

White supremacy is predicated on the falsehood that, a person is simply better or of higher value because of their race. White privilege is a natural offspring of the culture of white supremacy. That is no groundbreaking information. This is rather an exploration of how the psyche of non-whites especially us black people has been concentrated and directed towards the wrong targets. As we try to debunk and untether our society from the systemized effects of this culture of white supremacy and white privilege, we should be fully aware that our fight is not against white people. Our aim should be to completely eradicate the prejudices that limit and discriminate against any group of people based on the color of their skin. The goal isn’t ridding the world of white people.. We could argue that these are simply semantics i.e. white supremacy being the same as white people but on a deeper level, understanding that the culture of prejudice is alienable from the whites but more glaringly, that prejudice is not exclusive to whites — could be the gateway to better solutions for a level and equal playing field for all people. ALL.

Nigger = Cracker   Niggersandcrackerstext

 

 

We cannot ignore that discrimination by any definition is wrong, irrespective of the variables of the complexion of the discriminator vs the discriminated— if we consciously deprive a person of an opportunity based on race instead of criterion like merit, know-how/ability or potential. Prejudice is colorless, so it is equally awful to call any group of people by a racial slur just as it is to call white people by racial slurs. This isn’t a defense of white people by a long shot. It is just the truth. The real world effects of calling someone a “nigger” is no more derogatory than calling another “cracker”. Words can be hurtful and demeaning but at its core, those two words possess the same weight of disrespect and one should not trump the other. The struggle of dark and brown skin people over the past four or five hundred years is well documented. We are not overlooking it’s terrible effects on the race and especially the continent of Africa but we also, in search of finding an equilibrium for our past oppression, have to be embracing of solutions that do not pivot us in the same hateful and bigoted way in which our ancestors and even a lot of our people are still treated. It really sounds utopic to say, do not dwell on what wounds have been inflicted on the race but it does no good to reciprocate how we are still treated with a blanket hate towards white people. This is not a pass for them to keep being racist towards us but rather advocating for an approach that does not dwell on a tit for tat exchange.

 

Africans and people of color have to remove the effects of racism on us from the equation if we truly seek to re-establish the truth of our equality in humanity. That means, we have to control our own destinies, our own wealth and start teaching ourselves at the most core levels that we are not victims. We should invest in ourselves, tell our stories outside of the white supremacist narrative and establishing our existence in the world as not dependent on what white supremacy dictates. That means not begging for a black James Bond, however trivial that seems for this article. That also means, not lamenting the lack of black barbies or fighting that Jesus was black, or that white people can not have dreadlocks, or making every single blockbuster movie we make about slavery. There are countless rich stories about the black experience that don’t hinge on race that we can tell our progeny. Why dwell on the pity? This is part of a more expansive essay being written but it is time to share excerpts of it because our supposed leaders are continuously failing to understand the concept of value and independence. For as long as our independence has to be granted and validated by white supremacist culture, we remain their eternal subordinates. Born free, live free. You do not have to have the mindset that your freedom has to be re-negotiated and validated in order to be equal to all other humans..

There was a point to be made in all this but the attention span of the reader is too short these days so to be continued….

That Time Adam Sandler Went to Africa

I agree with all of this but my response is, it is so because we as Africans have collectively failed in educating the world about our stories. Our independent and separate cultures and civilizations. Even to the very obvious fact that Africa is a continent, not a Country. Spot on rant btw, I got the chuckles.

Rant-y African't...

Ok, first of all, let’s get this unarguable fact out of the way: Adam Sandler is NOT hilarious/funny/comical in any way, shape, or form. All his movies are one wackjob after another of epically poor comedy. Somehow, he’s a popular, accomplished Hollywood actor, which is fine. Really, it is; Americans are not exactly famed for their wise choices in whom they bestow the privilege of celebrity (See: Snooki, pre-2014 KardashJenners, Miley Cyrus’ non-twerking rear etc.). So, yeah, I have hitherto let Adam Sandler blur into the mass of white Americans that are famous for absolutely nothing in particular…until now.

So Adam Sandler has a new movie out called “Blended”, starring his co-talentless Hollywood pal, Drew Barrymore. The trailer:

Quick recap:

Adam goes on a karmically bad date with Drew, and they somehow happen to know the same person who has TWO tickets to Africa, this person gives them the tickets…

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Docile: The challenges of responsibility to a cause, any cause..

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I’m feeling wise, so here.

When you start maturing, you wonder and fidget with your brain, why Africa asa continent in general is so behind. Then you evolve from believing that the plight of the continent is tied to some deity that has cursed it. You grow some more and you either discern that deities may be more concerned with maintaining the natural order of the universe, you know, like the sun in place and rivers flowing into the sea than cursing you for the skin color THEY gave you, or so you rationalize it.

At a point, you are determined to make a difference, work hard and even dare to believe you can change things. Then the reality of the decay sets in. The stench of it, my God! It is cyclical. Truer is the fact that, once you have adjusted to the convenience of your life i.e. being a part of modernity as a professional income earning adult, you are less willing to forfeit that comfort to sacrifice your life in a frontline battle against the elements that make Ghana and most of  Africa  such a shit pile.

So you give up and watch T.V shows that amuse you. They give an escape from the horrors of your responsibility to your people. You may even wisely switch nationalities to secure the safety guaranteed by being the citizen of one of these western nations. These are my senseless thoughts this evening and it has to do mostly with how increasingly nonchalant I have gotten about Social media activism by a vastly docile and cowardly race of imbeciles. Goodnight

Bar Tape Review… Twisted off Remy Martin V.S.O.P..

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Hubris. Humble Emcees never ruled hiphop. Honest. You gotta talk yo shit and back it up, no sewage or Korle, Boorle? Ight then, lets get into it.. E.L is navigating his place to the upper echelons of the local music scene with what I’d call the elements required to hold your fellow artists in the industry’s attention. Wiz Khalifa’s mixtape of the same moniker had me wondering if E.L cared that the public would compare the  two projects and call him out on jacking the name? Jay Z’s Blueprint will always be remembered over KRS One’s album of the same title because of the content of the album and the hubris required to pay homage to a great body of work and still eclipsing it with skill is what E.L displays on this mixtape.

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Best African rapper is the braggadoccio of 90’s hiphop mixed with the 2000’s marketing flair of a Lil Wayne. The attention such a title draws to the music scene and the conversations it sparks generate interest in the genre. That is a 350lb ape beating its chest and inviting all the bullets from the doubters. “This is what I believe and fuck it, you gon’ hear it.” Track itself is eerie with a laid back flow that brings a concise blend to the marriage of pidgin and hiphop lingo.

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I am usually against the idea of free music/mixtapes/EP’s etc so when I saw this being promo’d a week ago I said nothing but thought it a wasted effort. I was waiting to listen because as an artist, E.L, like a lot of talented artists in Ghana and the African continent are constricted or confined by the audience they have. You typically can’t be as expressive or artistic to your complete potential because the cultural climate doesn’t allow it. Here is a rapper who is blazing the trail for how to navigate that 5-legged beast.

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This is easily album-quality music, from a production and content standpoint and if you are an E.L fan, you’d definitely get excited about his future prospects as an artist. The mixtape is stoopid, vibe to it, do what you do and exudes a kick-it type feel. The song by song breakdown is that he  never gave a moment on the tape where you questioned the source of his Afadgato sized ego. Rapping about taking niggas’ girls is so cliche but it never gets old. It is always funny when you can find creative ways to turn skits to skittles and make it skitty… Some of the hooks do get repetitive on a few of the joints but overall, this is way dope. Like sex with your girlfriend in a cab on Oxford Street dope.. The cab driver questioning your etiquettes in vivid Twi  dope. Or calling out your Pastor for wearing a du-rag dope. American passport over Ghana passport dope. Second-hand smoke getting the girl next to you horny dope. I fuxs with it. I’m glad the mixtape is this dope so I did not have to rip him ‘cos that woulda been awkward dope.. LOL

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I would rate it an excellent effort for a mixtape and he has put his competition on notice. The skits are fresh.

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Kale Blues

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I love you

I could eat kale everyday for 3months for you.

I hate my ankle for injuring itself again. 6-pack on the way. LOL

I wanna steal you away from all the distractions.

If not kale then gluten-free will do.

Your pace. Your Space. Me in it.

Your grace..

Until we are even and find the balance.

I will do the most and the least..

 

Short Word

Time and what you do with it. Remember that time changes and people right along with it. No matter the adversity, don’t compromise who you are for anything or situation. When you put in so much and get water in your palms just let the wetness dry and try again.

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You Race of Cowards?

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The new African social media activist movement is a phenomena that is taking on a life form of its own. The bulk of these people are the youth. We are still searching for a means to use our voices to create positive change. We hear our frustrations summarized to 140 characters followed by retweets, favorites and ensuing rebuttals and/or extended thoughts to support the current injustice of the week. The topic goes on for a few hours or days and then we are on to the next topic. Back to twerk vines, funny memes and casual banter until the next uprising. We are almost habitual commentators with no real outlet to harness the energy behind our strong opinions regarding the myriad of socio-political issues that we collectively face. Today, it is Nigeria’s inability to properly tackle Boko Haram or a proper search effort to rescue over 234  young girls abducted from their local towns. Some blame the government, others fault poverty and so on. Then it is back to quiet time and daily shenanigans. A few months ago, I was lamenting the Agbogbloshie technology dump site that has left our people so open to all types of cancerous health risks. The dumping is still going on but our attention span has already gone past it, hung itself on Mimi Faust’s bathpole and descended back to dormancy. We are on about why our nudes-game is on the low, how to DM better… We know more about what Mouhrino/Moyes/Wenger should do to win the EPL than we do about  why our next door neighbor still burns trash at midnight or at all.  Those of us conveniently tweeting and facebooking about the issues from the comfort of our smart phones can usually go safely home to the normalcy of life. Some of us ask; “how can we channel this activism into real world actions and help bring about change?”

MDG : Electronics waste or e-waste in Africa : Teenage boys dismantle computer in Accra, Ghana

The disconnect between the youth and the people in charge is alarming. What most of us think and feel about our current leaders is far removed from what these leaders feel their obligations to the country is or should be. So, whether it is outrage about President John D. Mahama posing with an escort on instagram or making Tweaa jokes at a time when the economy is suffocating our people or President Goodluck Jonathan being vilified by the youth for his lack of proper response to what the vast majority of the youth consider a disaster regarding Boko Haram or the abducted girls, the fact remains that, most African countries and youth are very ill-equipped to respond to their societal issues in a timely and efficient manner. We normally don’t get any resolution to these issues at all. No one follows up with it and within a few weeks, all our purported sorrows and disgust are gone with the wind. We just don’t care enough or lack the resources and bravery required to take an organized stance against the leadership of our various troubled countries.

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What we should understand and proceed to do is, without an organized effort and properly set agenda, we will forever have our activism locked on the various social media platforms servers and in time, when we have gotten older and look back at what we actively did to ensure a better Ghana, Nigeria and Africa, we’ll have absolutely nothing to point to for an accomplishment. Those of us serious enough to spark conversations about organizing are met with the problem of where to start, how to start and who to follow. Our efforts are in disarray for many reasons. The one that is most troubling is what I choose to call; docile cowardice clothed in self-centeredness. In simpler terms, we wish the problem will somehow magically fix itself or go to our favorite cultural mantra; “God save us, help us, leave it to God” or whichever variety suits our cowardice.   How do we neglect these issues that are so glaring and destroying the lives of our people? Are we incapable of organizing ourselves? Any social change is going to come from unpleasant sacrifices that most of us may not be willing to contend with. Especially in Africa where most Governments’ go-to response to any organized opposition/protest would most likely be brute force and unjust jail sentences that will leave the rest of the protesters fleeing back to the normalcy of their lives prior to real-world activism.

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The only other way is that we engage in the real world and partake in the political process. That means, running for various offices and public positions where we can have more than 140-characters to voice our intellectualized opinions to influence and create policies that will help in changing the dynamics of our countries and general continent. I am not advocating that anyone sacrifice their lives and die for the cause but our issues require sacrifice. We have to get involved politically, culturally and even artistically. Our views and solutions should be concentrated. If you are passionate about education, engage in that sector. If it is road safety you care about, join the power structure of that sector. It is said that, most of these corrupt politicians also started with these same altruistic values and got turned by the realities of the situation. I foolishly remain optimistic that there are Africans, especially the new age social media using types who will do the right thing no matter how challenging by not turning on their convictions that motivated them for public office.

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Who is willing to organize? Who is willing to support an organized agenda? I saw a banner on twitter today held by a group of Nigerian young men and woman which reads: #STOLENDREAMS PROTEST. We protest against Insecurity, Corruption, Injustice, Unemployment, Bad Leadership, Hopelessness, Insensitive Leadership and Human Rights Abuse. This could be the genesis of a movement that gains traction and awakens the conscience of both the masses and those in charge if they can refine their goals and come up with a more concise agenda. Kudos to them. Now, I’m waiting for the Ghanaian youth organized movement to take off. My only excuse is I can’t be in Ghana just yet but when I am, I will write less and act more.

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Any social change in the history of modern society has started from the people. Africa is unique because of it’s diverse set of problems, language barriers, level of education in the various populations and other intangibles like belief systems that have interfered with our natural evolution towards modernity. However, it is no excuse to sit back and just tweet or rant about it. We probably have the most advanced groups of young educated people in the history of the continent who understand the meaning of what our societies should and can look like. The task for us is to be fully engaged in the actual process of bringing change not just words and chatter. I continuously offer my assistance to anyone who wants to share ideas and brainstorm how we can even mobilize ourselves in the interim so we can influence the minds of those of us who are not as socially and politically curious. Let us not just be resigned to how many retweets or likes we get. I have serious ideas that I’m willing to share with any serious group of Ghanaians wanting to channel their frustrations into action. That is my PSA. Love.

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PostScript:  Marcus Garvey had his flaws and I don’t ascribe to his black isolationist views but there is a message in this speech of his that I would like to re-interpret: No one will care about our issues as much as we do and it should be so. It is very stupid for us to sit back and decry western media for not focusing attention on our issues when our own existing media does not even care to do their journalistic duties by probing for the truth and shedding light on these issues by querying our government and leaders incessantly. If we can’t take care of ourselves, Garvey is totally right in calling us a race of imbeciles and cowards etc etc.